35 years…young or old?

My father died at the age of 35.  It was 1989; I was 12 (well 6 weeks away from turning 13).

I am now a week away from turning 35 myself. I saw it coming, I could see the realization grow from a giant blur to crystal clear as this current summer has passed.  Internalizing for months how I am now in the same year as he was the summer he knew his life was ending, see he didn’t win in the battle of cancer.  Funny thing is, I didn’t think this was going to be such a big deal, when my older sister turned 35 and she too had her own realization and struggle to hit this young age of  35, I told her to brush it off, no big deal. Well, I guess I owe her an apology….sorry Jenn. I underestimated what you were going through, I now know the weight it carries.

See, as you can imagine or even remember yourself, at the age of 12 I thought my dad was old,  you too probably did as well.   At 35 he was the man of the house…the sole provider, a husband, a father, a business owner;  he had 14, 12, 8 and 6 year old children as well as a 33 year old wife and stay at home mother.  With all that on your plate in the eyes of a 12 year old, he was old.

HA! I laugh at that now,  35 is far from old, funny how that realization came speeding at me this summer with a career, a husband, and 3 children of my own (8, 6 and 4 years of age) – I can relate to him in respect to age and responsibility for the first time in my own 35 years and now to only have to come to terms with that fact that I will now out live him.  For the first time I see my father from the eyes of an adult, 22 years after his death and up until this summer, I saw him through the eyes of a 12 year old, a child’s eyes.  To see him as an adult, as someone I can relate too is so new.  I cannot imagine what he was going through as he turned 35 and knew that his battle was coming to an end.  We actually celebrated his 35th birthday at the Hospital.  What was he thinking, how was he processing what was about to be, being so young with so much and what would happen with out him, how would we get by, so overwhelming…

He missed so much of so many great things, I have missed him so much during so many great things. High school a mess for me in so many ways, my big move to NH (best decision of my life), my college education, my wedding and the birth of my 3 kids…the day to day small milestones, family celebrations, promotions and accomplishment as well as set back, fears, hard life lessons and  even losses.   But during all of it, he is in my thoughts; what would he think, is he proud, am I where he dreamed I would be some day.

He was a worker, a provider, a believer and I see that and take that with me as my daily guidance to do the same.  But mostly he was a great dad and we all knew it. Boy did I love him and boy I know he loved me, he showed it every moment I can remember.

Now, he left us early, I know I am still here in the moment with my family, my children. How Lucky I am!

I have spent many months thinking about how young he was, a new perspective for me to process, and in it my 35th birthday has been very intimidating.  Do I celebrate that I am here, stay in bed and wallow in his loss and realization of what he said goodbye to, or do I just embrace the fact that I am lucky and here and young with a full life ahead of me to celebrate my kids and my husband and our families and keep him in my heart every day as I have so far.  You think the answer to this is simple, but with emotions in so many directions the answer bounces daily and is often not very clear to me. So, do I celebrate with something wild to look forward in order to get through the day, to mark my life – the life he helped to give to me, do I hang with friends, sneak off with my husband…so many options.

But, with this a week away, it dawned on me.  Celebrate life that is what he would have wanted! Celebrate it as I have built it, with my husband and my 3 beautiful children and any family or friends who happen to be around and treat the day special. By special I mean, enjoy every minute of the day, be it what ever the day should offer and embrace the celebration that I, at 35, am here and will be here.  How fortune am I, how lucky are my children.

AND know…I am young, as was he! So to answer my question 35 maybe appear old to a 12 year old but 35 is young.

Cheers to you Dad, William “Duke” Marshall, you are with me every day!  I love you every day!

Thank you, because as you are in my heart you helped guide me to who I am today and believe it or not, I like it!  Cheers to 35!

Accomplishments, sometimes bold & more times surprising.

As the school year comes to an end I can stand back and see the growth, the changes and the accomplishments that have arrived and have been made.  Bittersweet, for sure.  But more so amazing!  Where we are today is so much more than we were when school began in August, and not just my children, but all of us.  It paralyzes me to think that with all we have seen this year and all that has happened, including all that we have been fortunate enough to do, that time moved by so fast.  It seems like it was too much to occur in this small amount of time.  When I look back at where we are; I can see and remember so much and the growth and accomplishment is now shining through, it makes me happy.

I was blessed to get through a crazy week of dance rehearsals leading up to our first ever, Dance Recital!  And..what a show it was! I am down heartedly amazed at what our Lauren was able to accomplish.  She joined dance late in the “dance year” and really only as result of her persistent request for years to give it a try. I can say, due to my intimidation of the year-end recital and time involved we were always hesitant to enroll her; but she won, and we could not be more happy.  See, Lauren is a great ice skater, she learned such self-confidence and poise, as well as a place to fit in having her own special interest.  This year her second year on ice was beautiful, she gracefully performed in sparkling purple on the ice in February head held high, (and she will press on in skating as she can not wait to lace up her skates come September), but given this ends in February we agreed to the dancing enrollment.  Now, the end of the year is hard on us all, with school ending, home work, schedules, extra meetings and performances; we are all tired and cranky and then the heat comes in and out and sucks even more out of us. The dreaded anticipation and intimidation of the dance recital certainly set in last week, I was completely unsure of it as I expected to be.  However, I turned 180 on Saturday as the performance began.  WOW! 

As I sat there waiting for her to come out on the stage, along side Matt, not knowing how she would perform; we saw a side of Lauren that we have seen blossoming this year.  She bounced out  in Number 5, and 28 and the finale Number 50, and  I balanced the running back and forth to change her costume, her hair, her shoes and all that goes along.   I saw a strong and bold, confident and comfortable little girl walk out and embrace the stage with her dance class and perform from great memory and smile with cheer! To me, she sure did shine! This was a moment for me to see my kindergartener, my 5-year-old, my middle, my mini-me in temperament, glow like never before.  Do you know that song,  ANGEL by AKON, take a listen to the clip because that was what I heard in my head as she came out on stage Angel by AKON (and the 2nd show of the day was even better!).  For me it all clicked, she has a place, she has a comfort in herself, she has a joy on the ice and on the stage in dance, she is the same little girl in a different stage of life and all this has really come about over this year.  Who knew, the one I always worry about most, and I am sure that won’t change, put me in my place with her performance and her pride and her complete joy.  Dance we will see you in the fall, I never thought I would say  it but dance has offered much, much more than my expectations, all I can say is thanks! 

Now on to the rest, Marshall and Madelyn’s gymnastics open house comes today, he did not perform last year, he froze but he is ready this year, I just know it. And Madelyn, completing her 5th year and so proud of her hard work she is, as she should be.  She will perform to FIREWORK by Katy Perry – to me the perfect song for her!

Accomplishments also came this year in surpassing school math goals and meeting personal math goals, and reading becoming an enjoyment!  Knowing all your sight words, and recognizing your letters; my kids have grown so much.  Father daughter dances, LL Bean Catalog, skiing growth, snow forts, Diner for a Day with Billy Costa, unimaginable Penny Drives, first Fenway Red Sox game, Christmas volunteer programs giving to those less fortunate and helping our community be a  better place to live, gymnastics meets winning 1st place, new bike rides; and more memories galore. They, we, have accomplished and experienced so much, grown and discovered and loved, and laughed, and yes more than occasional fight or “discussion”; we are stronger and growing more so each day.  

The school year ends and the summer begins and we are all ready and all waiting and ALL deserving of it. This time of change and closure is welcomed as it has presented so much to me, I am grateful and proud.

Funny as I reflect upon all of this, I too had a personal accomplishment.  A proud moment I was so grateful to share with my husband and 2 of my 3 children as they came to cheer me on at a fun 5k in Kennebunkport Maine (I love this course and last year I set my 5k PR (personal record) – 27:20).  On Sunday June 5th I realized I too have had personal growth, mentally, as during this week leading up to the race and for weeks prior I learned a little more about me.  I made a choice to change my thought on running.  It has always been something I enjoy for many reasons, me time, health, fitness, stress relief.  Don’t ge me wrong I still enjoy it for all those reasons, but I often was challenged and struggled with settling on being slow, heavy, as running has always been hard.  Well, I learned that it was because I positioned it that way. The turn came when I chose to take the pressure off running, the time, the speed, the distance does not matter, just do it! (Nike certainly got that right!) Do it for enjoyment and leave it at that, the rest can get tossed to the side.  If you are a runner you know this is hard because it is often more of a mental challenge than a phycial one. So I have run, and I have run well, and stronger, the pressures over running are gone and I discovered I too have more in me than I thought.  I love these kinds of surprises!  I thought all week leading up, run that road because you like the course, run that road because you can, because you are strong and because you enjoy it and so I did…25:53!  I accomplished a 8:20 pace, I smoked my PR and set a new one and it was because there was no pressure, just go.  I have broken a hurdle, pushed out the threshold and found new success in me.  The best part of it…as I crossed the finished line I saw my 3 smiling faces cheering for me and gave a big Hi-5 to my best friend and loving husband Matt, this brought it full circle for me, another click for me this weekend.  Amazing! 

Life; it really is full of accomplishments of all sizes, and they sure can sneak up on you!

Raising 3

Why are some of your childs birthdays harder than others? Milestones they call them.  Even writing this gives me a pit in my stomach. 

Marshall Matthew Gallant, my third and my baby, turns 4 tomorrow!  What a celebration! What a bittersweet day.  For me, watching my children turn four has really been the most difficult of all.  The infamous 1 is amazing; 2 – uh oh terrible 2’s; 3 – still a toddler and really figuring it all out and then come 4!  They metamorphosize in to “kids” no longer babies and toddlers, but actual kids.  Do it themselves kids.  Potty trained, going to bed with a structured routine, eating well with manners and silverware (well, mostly!), picking out their own clothes and getting dressed.  What do they need us for!  (A lot to come, I know and I realize that is a open-ended question) but, in the sense of their independence on the basics of everyday care of their person, the age of 4 truly allows them to enter into the next phase of their childhood, well at least it did for my 3.

So I hate to be selfish, but I have spent the last 8 and 1/2 years caring for my babies and now that phase comes to an end and really, quite frankly, along the road of wants, and redos, and agains, and not nows, and hold on a seconds…it is all ending, I can say I hate that. 

I know, I know, watch what I say!  Now we are headed into a new game of raising 3 kids, on the run with things to do and places to go and different needs to call upon us a parents…I just wish it could all slow down.  I am ready for the next phase but I can readily admit, I am going to miss the one we are leaving. 

Marshall, like the girls were, is so happy for his birthday, and what a celebration it will be. I want my kids to love birthdays! I love their birthdays! I love to celebrate their lives and this day is so special. So we will have a celebration, and we will help him into his next phase of childhood and make it fun, engaging,  learning, of exploration and it will be great, and likely even greater than the last 8 years raising 3, and in a different way of comparison, I’m sure. But like anything, it is sad when something ends, and equally as scary as is happy when something new begins.

Not to mention, all this comes when I think we (Matt and I) where just getting the hang of it all, this parenting thing that it.  Isn’t that just the game of life!

But all in all, my Marshall is a gem.  A complete love of my life.   He love to dance and sing, play trucks and build blocks, and run with us and interact with us; and I am sure this will continue. I only have to now get used to him liking robots, action figures, basketball and sports, shooting games and things a little more boy like.  He keeps things interesting, especially as an antagonizer of his sisters.  Especially because he is getting sassy, fresh, testing his limits with his behavior and perfecting the eye roll (thank you big sisters for that lesson, lol).  But he is caring and compassionate, super funny and a ham; he is a mini Matt not only in looks but also in personality traits, what more could I have asked for in a son, but to mimic the other man I love most.

So I will open my arms to the next journey of parenting, push down my sorrow for what we are leaving, and embrace what is to come.  I am just thankful it is an exciting and emotional journey raising 3, our 3.

So… Cheers to 4, Marshall, Happy Happy Birthday!

Shared Family Values

I think we (Matt and I) were lucky enough to find each other and as it has been I have learned that we have some very similar family values that we share, only from values we were taught from our parents.  I can only believe that even though we experienced different lifestyles growing up, I find it wonderful that our parents were able to instill in us the value of family.

Now, don’t get me wrong, like most couples when joining together to build a family; we had to create balance on whose family we shared our time with for various holidays, birthdays, life moments, all while creating and juggling our own time.   However, after our 12 years of relationship, I can acknowledge and feel proud that we have come to a great balance with our families in blending, sharing and still establishing our own interests directly for our own family time (meaning for us the 5 of us).

Between Matt and I, we have 4 sisters and one brother.  They all have families or significant others, then we of course have our parents, and grandmothers and aunts too; they have their lives and schedules and demands, and in some cases over the years, well at least my siblings, have lived in various parts of the country.  All this making it not always convenient or practical to share holidays with, or special moments or life celebrations all together.  Now we (Matt and I) tried different holiday schedules and bounced to different families (mine, his, aunts, grandmothers etc.) homes, spent time alone or just with our children, it definitely took some trial and error to get it right.  We both had a desire to be with our own families but always with each other, and we understood and committed ourselves to each other so that meant compromise.  With the value of family time and family holidays  being so important to both of us this wasn’t always easy, but I think we have figured it out. And to me most importantly I think we have begun to teach our children this value as well.

Yesterday was a great example, Easter Sunday.  We had 2 wonderful family gatherings to participate in.  We were able to share and celebrate our families that we love and, teach and guide our children on the importance of making time and putting forth effort to be with our families as a whole, you know outside the 5 of us.  I was thrilled that for the first time in a long time, the Marshall tribe was able to celebrate one entire Holiday meal and celebration together.  Mom, Jenn, Juli, Jeff and family joined (at my mom’s coordination) the 5 of us for Easter breakfast at our house.   It was about 3 hours of fun, laughter, memories, eating, playing with the kids and sharing life together.  How wonderful that we have come this far. Not only did I see that it was nice for me, or my children, but I could see the joy in my mom’s face and actually the enjoyment amongst everyone.  It has taken us many years through our own journeys to get to here, and though we live differently with different demands, if only we can do this one time a year, that one time  a year makes it that much more special.

From there, we were able to load up and go to the annual tradition of Easter Dinner being hosted a Matt’s Aunt Denise’s house. Now this is one annual event you can count on, 1:00 EasterDinner in Gilmanton is an automatic given in holiday celebrations.   Where we can sit and talk with his parents and watch his sister Emily and fiancée Scott have some  quality time with our kids.  Bring all of the dogs (which now out number the children) together for outdoor ambitious activity. We all sat at the table together, we played and talked together and we enjoyed our time, if only for a few hours and again as a larger family than just 5.

Then it was home (to rest from a food comma) and watch a movie, and now it was time for just the 5 of us. Our OWN family time together, time to laugh and talk, nap and snuggle, and put an ending to a great time of sharing, sharing family.  My kids got a lot out of yesterday, it was fun and they had a lot of attention, as kids should. But I know that some day they will know that being with family, making time to share on days of celebration is something you can easily make fit and enjoy.  I hope that as they grow and have families of their own they will see how you can compromise and share with both sides and still have time to yourself, that happy balance of family.  From yesterday and many other days like yesterday, I believe we have taught them how to stay engaged and apart of the greater whole and that makes me feel great because then I know they will come home as adults.   And really it was not fancy by any means just good old fashion quality time for those you love.

Don’t get me wrong, we share time with our families all year long, but the joy of doing it as a group, of sharing that with my children was really very pleasing. I am thankful for that.

Because really, if you don’t have family, what do you have?

What defines us?

That is a question I would love to know the answer to. Is there an answer?

Probably not! I can only imagine it is different for everyone.  Do I define my children? Did my parents define me? I am not so sure, in some ways maybe and in other ways..not likely. But do we get to control and define ourselves, and if so, how, when, with what? Maybe that is just the game of life.

I often ask, what  am I good at, what will I be remembered for, just a middle of the road woman?  I can’t say I am defined by a certain skill or talent.  But  I can say this, I think I am totally defined by my hair.  What? (right now I am giggling) I am sure that is your question right now as you read this.  But yes, my hair. I have often said my hair is an example of me, it has been short and spikey, messy but styled…I have said my hair is CONTROLLED CHAOS.  I think I am back to that again.  My life is chaotic, you as working moms get this, work/life/parenting/marital/personal balance….all that is is trying to keep it all organized to keep it moving…you know controlling the chaos, because just as you get the hang of it is all gets messed up and chaotic again, balance…not so much!

Recently I have struggled with some obscure internal challenges.  Life balance concerns, am I guiding my children in the right direction, is my marriage strong enough to always get through the stick challenges of life, are my aspirations to do more realistic? Then I spend countless hours and sleepless nights thinking I am doing it all wrong, questioning when will some of the things that worry me change, really who is to decide. I think I am my own worst enemy, why is that?  I think the outside picture of me is one that would identify me as a hard worker, passionate about my children and there for them always, a good parent, a loving wife and partner to Matt, a good friend, a community member giving  time and energies for the programs I believe in.  So why do I question me, what am I tying to define, why not be content with how things are?  Why am I always working against myself, I guess I am a pretty good package.  What am I striving for, this big unknown, it  certainly is hard to get to somewhere, accomplish some  big thing when I don’t even know what I am after.  Whoa… Settle down I say…

Then today it dawns on me, my hair.  I have been growing it out, thinking I want a change, long hair to style and pull in a pony tail, beautiful hair like Jennifer Anniston, duh!  That’s not me!  So, Saturday I have an appointment, to get my hair cut. I am going to back to me, the short/spikey/messy stylish hair that is one element that actually does define me, my life in all aspects.  I am happy with that and I am hoping that once I go back to this short style (that yes same ole style that I have to accept I will have for life!), all this personal struggle that I create will settle right down. I think what I will find is that I will feel better, my internal challenges back in control, no longer consuming me.  Hair, huh! who would have thought.

I will let you know how it goes, but I think I am on to something here.

NH…how cool it is!

So, if you know me you know, I am LARGE endorser of New Hampshire. Truly, I think it is the best place on earth.  Playing a game once with friends, a Q&A about each other, the question was: “If you could live anywhere where would you live?”   Everyone (some of my closest friends) sitting around said I would choose Maine (we have a summer vacation camper @ the ocean in Wells Beach, so I can see why they would guess Maine!), but WRONG!!

Matt got it right!  Answer: Totally right where I am, I so love NH! 

I was born here you know, grew up in UpState NY but I am a NHite through and through!  You know they say if you leave New England you will eventually come home to New England!  Why wouldn’t you?! One of my favorite memories of all times was seeing the Old Man of the Mountain for the first time, granted that was in 1998, it was awesome!  NH is beautiful and location is perfect!  We’re are in the epi-center of a 1 hour commute to the White Mountains, NE Seacoast, City of Boston, as well, we have no sales tax and are centered in the Lakes Region!  I can see Lake Winnipesaukee every day!  And imagine, I can sometimes view the peak of Mount Washington on my way to work if the sky is clear!  I think it is perfect, be jealous if you don’t live here! 

So…I have wanted to get to this all week. I am dying to endorse some really amazing companies that we came across while at the Made In NH Expo last Saturday! WOW, as I already thought, NH is so wonderful.

Check out these sites if you have a few minutes! Do not be surprised that most of these links are wine!  It is what I like.  There were over 150 NH businesses to see so it was hard to find favs, but we did.

•  NH Bottled Water 
• Michele’s Totally Awesome Gourmet Popcorn (we loved the Salt N Vinegar and peanut butter), PS this popcorn was featured in the Daytime Emmy Award Swag Bags in June 2010!
• LaBelle Winery 
• Jewell Towne Vineyards   
• Zorvino Vineyards
• SweetBaby Vineyard
• Candia Vineyards (a favorite, have found these wines locally to purchase try the Classic Cab – their labels are really classic too!
• Fantastic Fortunes – GIGANTIC Fortune Cookies dipped in chocolate and sprinkles and anything else you may find delicious!!…bought one of these as a treat to give Madelyn to celebrate her State meet (which is this Sunday 4/10)
• Nutty Granola – this was the kids favorite booth by far…they don’t have a site yet, but you can find them on Facebook! or email @ nuttygranola1@gmail.com – all I can say…O.M.G!

I have it on my bucket list to rent a limo, gather some friends and take a NH wine tour…It may take one full day and we may have to start tasting (well consuming because I am not sure we are just tasters!) at 8:00 a.m. but I know it would be a day to remember.

Pride…Unexpectedly Delivered.

Wondering why?

Last night I had the honor of being voted in an Incorporator for the Belknap County Economic Development Council ( www.bcedc.org ).  What an impressive organization and resource to our region.  The work they have done to better the business community, grow the economic environment, and provide a lending resource for business developement and growth. Not to mention the dive in approach to ensure that the Lakes Region would be a place for the younger generation (my generation) to come and live, raise a family, and build business; is so very impressive. 

The Annual Meeting held at the beautiful and award-winning Church Landing at the Inn & Sap at Mill Falls  (www.millfalls.com).  The room was filled with prestigious business leaders in the Lakes Region. Many of these Leaders I have come to know personally, many only by name, and many yet to meet.   But boy was I WOWed by the attendance. For I have been involved in many local organizations, planned many elite events/fundraisers, and attended many other programs.  For this was the first in 8 years that I was blown away by the attendance.  

Few take aways for me were:

1 – This organization has to be the most premiere organization in the Region!  For you that don’t know, we are  blessed to have many amazing groups like the LR Chamber of  Commerce, Leadership Lakes Region, BIBA, SCORE and so many more.  So with this unbelievably powerful group gathering in support and participation for ONE organization it was so very impressive.  I hadn’t realized the power of this organization until last night. I thought I knew the mission, however I realized  I only knew the surface!

2 – I (yes me, Jodie Gallant) was invited to join this group, I am to only assume that I too am recognized as a Premiere Business Leader in the Lakes Region!  This comes to me unknowingly, now I have to only believe it is in by the support of the great company that I am thankful to be employed by; MetroCast, but also in part to me as an individual.

I will add that, I also recognized (and mentioned to the Mayor) that this is the first time I have attended an event in the Lakes Region, where in attendance, I felt like a minority. In a room filled with over 150 community business leaders, political figures, amazing entrepreneurs, I was one of possibly 15 women.  I can say, I am proud to be there and represent the power of Women.  I will also say that I am very amazed, humbled, and grateful to be positioned as a Lakes Region Business Leader, what an empowering feeling and an amazing accomplishment.

I am anxious to begin my interactions and opportunity to learn from this high-profile community of leaders!

In sharing this with Matt at home he did not seem surprised, when I asked why?, his simple and calm response was “I am not surprised, you are a leader. What I am surprised about is that you didn’t see that yourself!”  

Self discoveries come daily and when least expected, I am grateful, thankful and for what it is worth proud (of me! for a change!) Feels so good!

Hows this for chaos?

The news is wonderful, however, there is always a but!

So, my 8-year-old, Madelyn, she is just a gem.  Her best and biggest personal asset is that she is strong-willed.  With this, she is a Level 4 competitive gymnast, working her way up to level 5.  This is her second year and on April 10th (key word) she will compete in her 3rd State of NH USGA Meet.  The thing is, over the past two-year, we have seen her come in to terms with what it means to be a competitor.  She is on paper ranked in the top 3 going into States, but that does not factor in one of the Top and High competitive/Skilled Gymnastics groups in NH.  Thing is, that group, competed in the 1st Sectional Meet in February and Madelyn was ranked 2nd, however, this group did not  compete in the 2nd Sectional Meet in March where Madelyn was ranked 1st.  Where as Madelyn has improved over the month, we can only assume that so have the other girls from this gymn team.  We are kind of going into this blind at a highly competitive level for her age group with her right on the cusp of the greatest potential of success, 1st Place in the State.  WOW you may say, but as a parent this is challenging; we want to encourage her, push her, drive her; but at the same time,  we don’t want to over do it,  and have this amazing opportunity and endeavor become the dreaded PRESSURE that paralyzes.  Her coach and I have talked too, we are on the same page I feel but there is also the concern of the day of the meet pressure, competitive atmosphere, the highly competitive Gymn team coming in with the same desire that Madelyn has.  What if her first rotation is beam and she is slightly off, will that set her off for the rest of the meet….AHHH!!! All these What Ifs?

See, the thing is, Madelyn now can comprehend this.  She is ready to go out there and get the 1st place trophy! This is great!  It is what you want to see, it is the drive that makes people get to the top!  But with there being so much to know about being competitive, and her only being 8, we want her to know that what ever she does, as long as she does her best that day, she will be #1!  But to help prepare her I often wonder what is  our part, really, there is a responsiblity somewhere in there for us as parents, but what, where, to what level, how often…..and this coming from someone who is not athletically competitive!  SO, I have turned all this over to Matt to talk to her about (I know, I am a chicken!).  What ever the outcome, we could not be more proud of her, her accomplishments, dedication, determination, hard (and I do say hard) work, and the best part…it is all for her own wants, her own love for the sport.  She is pretty good, as a Mom, I do sometimes like to brag about her.

So, now the next part of the situation….Lauren, my 5-year-old, my beautiful and fortunately pretty little looking angel has been called upon to attend a Casting Call for LL Bean, yes, that’s right! So exciting, a modeling opportunity, for one of my daughters (who as pretty as she is, is often referred to as a devil these days, but that is a different blog). So, whats the trouble….Well the casting call, the 15-30 minute call to try on some LL Bean Clothes, have a photo and meet the team to just WOW them with her splendor….Is On The SAME DAY!!!! April 10th!  (I said that was the key word!)  Really!? Why does it have to be this way?

So 2 really amazing opportunities for two really dear girls, and we can not be in 2 places, 2 states even, at the same time! So now we have to split, Matt and I. How do we know which way to go? This is what I am talking about when referring to Chaos!  How can something so wonderful be so challenging?  I guess they say, if it was easy it wouldn’t be worth it.  Makes sense but still, this really just irritates me.  I want Matt and I to be at both, to experience these great opportunities with both of them, they deserve that, we deserve that!  Now the plan still needs to be ironed out,  the timing of the 1 has been confirmed but not the other. Maybe we can move one around to another time to make it to both.  We won’t know that for at least another week.

So, I will just take Matt’s word for it.  “Just relax Jodie, we’ll work it out!”  He is always so calm (sometimes that pisses me off too!).  Probably good for me, he provides our family balance in emotion because I am right up there in a tear about it all (and everything else usually too). And really, what can I do?  Just stress, and for what?, because that is what I do!

A calm weekend…

Raising 3 kids and being married to a very busy, have to be on the go, the early bird gets the worm kind of man, these kinds of weekends do not come often.  But! When they do, I just love them.  So..what to do?

I wish this was an easy question.  Often with the craziness of life, I build a very lengthy to do list just waiting for days or even weekends with no plans to tackle the chores.  TCB as Matt likes to say, you know, Take Care of Business.  But, after a nice brisk first out-door run of the season, I decided, WHAT THE HELL! I am going to do nothing today.  But…yes there is always a BUT!  Look out Sunday because here I come.   I have some programs to load, some online SMM projects to tackle, a photo album to build, the normal life chores like groceries, laundry, homework, so TODAY! Embrace. That is my goal. Embrace the relax, the joy of my kids, some time spent with friends and the sense of accomplishment for a busy work week, a great meeting with an intriguing business, and the joy of finding a new and interesting twist on what has been a pastime for year and turning into a professional asset.

So I say Saturday, bring me a day of fun! I am here and ready for it!

Well, I did it. I am starting a blog.

Really, I can admit that I have a lot of hesitation on this. When I started thinking “Geez, I should start a blog!”  I started wheeling with blog post ideas.  Now the hesitation I have is how,  or where do I get started with it all.  The blog design set up should be me, you know, my brand!  But then I started asking, what is my brand! Well, isn’t that a good question?
So…watch, read, and lets see what I can do with this.  The page may change here and there, bare with me. As a  marketer I want this to really reflect who I am, as an individual I am working to figure that out.  There will be changes to the look and feel as I figure this out, I can guarantee that! But I think we will see some entertaining growth blossom from this experience.

Most people have something happening that they blog about, some life altering experience. Me, not so much, really just looking for a release for my busy mind. Post my thoughts on well…my passions, my beliefs, my family for sure (don’t we all love to talk about our family) and maybe some good old fashion personal exposure. Like watch for my post about the sleep habits at my house, this is one subject that I can get  everyone at work laughing over, it is comical!

You may be wondering why a blog, I have been keeping journals on and off over the years,  but no one reads them (nor do I want them too), but it is the outlet I need, and with visibility I then establish some accountability, accountability only to me!  I set up some pretty BIG goals for my life, and needless to say, there are pros and cons to everything.  The #1 pro to these goals… I have already accomplished them, and I think very well.  The con: I have already accomplished them!  So I am left at 34 years old wondering what’s next!  Really…can you imagine, having a turning point this young. I was under the impression that this only happened to people in their 40’s or even 50’s.  I try to tell myself, well at least I am young, I can turn this thing around!  Sure, that is true but with what, how, when…Ugh!

Trust me, if you see me today you may say, what a great life she lives.  Believe me, I think that same thing too. Happy, healthy, busy, great kids, loving husband, beautiful home, secure employment..what more do I need.  Well, I NEED A GOAL! Something to work toward, something to grow into, something to embrace, make mistakes, learn from, share with my children and again have that feeling of accomplished.  I have a desire to do more, I tried supplementing this with what I have realized as short term fixes – committee leadership, personal fitness challenges, now they were fun, challenging and amazing, and I did learn a lot from me…but again I learned I need more. I NEED a Goal!

So, I will try a blog, a release, an exposure to really uncover who I am and who I want to be and in the mean time, I will hope it uncovers my next Big Goal!  This should be fun!